The Girl You Knew
by fairambitions
Summary: When the curse of the last summer claims her, Hermione falls into the care of Snape. Gradually, they rely on each other as their lives rapidly change. Hermione may be the solution to Snape's loneliness.
1. Cursed

**_Battling Reality_**

**_Author's Note_**: I am merely borrowing JK Rowling's colors to paint my own image. Review if you wish, I know the plot has flaws and is completely cliche. If I have taken what is not rightly mine from your story and I have not realized it, I am truly sorry. See my disclaimer.

**Chapter One: Cursed**

"_So you think he's touched in the head?" said Harry heatedly.  
"No, I just think he's been very lonely for a long time," said Hermione simply._

Hermione Granger sat at the edge of her bed, feeling shaky. She was warned of this, yet she let it happen to herself. Of everything she couldn't control, she hated it when it was herself.

She slowly stepped down the hall, her chest shooting pains through her body. Oh god. What was wrong? Hermione thought over her options in her head, and only one came up. She had to reach Dumbledore. She didn't have much time.

"Ron." She pushed open the door to his bedroom in Grimmauld Place.

"Yeah?" the redhead looked up, grinning at his best friend, and his expression dampened at the look of shock on her face.

"Can I borrow Pig? I'll explain later." She tried to sound herself, and knew it hadn't worked. Hermione knew the second part was a lie, but there were times when even your closest friends couldn't know your secrets.

"Ok... _Pig_!" The little owl zoomed into her hand, and she tied the letter on his talon. She thrust open the window with one hand, and she let him loose into the night.

_Please let him have found a solution, I don't have much control left._

Dumbledore sat at his desk, his head in his hands. At the end of term Poppy had come to him with the results of her tests on Hermione Granger. The curse was indeed a rare one, which drained a witch of her power, deteriorating her physically, and stealing her soul. It seemed Hermione had only suffered the more minor physical effects, until the urgent letter he recieved last night. Of course the Death Eater who cast the spell would have chosen that curse. Intelligence was valued, and Hermione had plenty. Her caring compassionate nature was something that the Death Eaters lacked, and stealing her soul and mind would provide them with information linked to Harry and how to best access his weaknesses and fears. By using her personality, and using Polyjuice potion, her identity would be successfully stolen, while the true Hermione lay dead. Had the curse hit right, she would have died immediatly, and he would have resumed her form as soon as the spell completed.

Of course, the curse was still in play, and it had come time that Dumbledore put forces into their positions. Any son of a Death Eater could steal a bit of her hair, and with that and the completion of the curse, Harry would be open to defeat. Not to mention the loss of the brightest witch of their time. This couldn't happen, and Dumbledore had a plan.

There was only one man that could possibly fit this elaborate idea. Severus Snape had defied the Dark Lord, lived in the safest possible location, was part of the Order, and happened to have the draughts it would take to keep Hermione alive long enough to break the curse, and fulfill Harry's prophecy. Dumbledore hoped this would work. It was life or death at stake.

Dumbledore tossed the powder in the fire, and prayed to all that was holding this mission together that this would work. Which wasn't much.

There was a rap at the door, and Hermione awoke with a start.

"Come in." She pulled the covers around her thin frame.

"Miss Granger." Professor Snape stood in the doorway. "Take this."

Hermione looked at him. How was she to explain to such a bitter man that she could not walk.

"Oh bloody..." he walked over and briskly handed it to her, and disappeared with a pop. Before Hermione could think, she was yanked by her navel and landed in a familiar circular room.

"Welcome, Hermione." Dumbledore conjured a chair in his usual fashion, and she looks around her. Snape is sitting in the chair next to her, his face carefully blank.

Thank goodness she sleeps in sweats. Otherwise that would have been a problem.

"Sir, I believe I know what this is about."

"We have a solution, at least for the time being." She nodded, and waited. She had a feeling this was bad, seeing who was here. It dawned on her slowly.

'Professor Snape has the strength to defy the Dark Lord. He has the talent to make you countless potions to battle this curse laid upon you, and he is loyal to the Order. He will, as he has agreed is his duty, defend you in any case, and in return I ask you consider his sacrifices for your cause, and give him the respect he deserves.

You will be staying in his quarters, for safety's sake. The Death Eaters have an approach to your situation I find most uncomforting. If they cannot use your talent, they will dispose of you. In this case, it is both. You cannot let yourself near any of his follower's children; therefore you will be taking your classes with an invisibility cloak. No one is to know of this, not even your friends. To the world, you are gone without a trace. The Order will cover for you, and as for Harry and Ron, you are simply in an unexplained absence. The Dark Lord knows better, but we will be making this game hard for him."

A pain not related to her curse shot through Hermione's chest. There is nothing worse than being invisible, when you know you are there.


	2. Adaptation

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers! Let the fun continue... this chapter might be a bit boring, please, it will get better. Hermione simply needed some ground rules here... Enjoy the show!

Hermione wrapped the thin blanket around her shoulders as they descended the flight of stairs to the right of the Great Hall. Her thin shoulders shook, and she shook feelings of fear out of her head. Living with Snape was not the thought she had in mind.

As he pushed open the dungeon doors, a scene she did not expect hit her eyes. The room had a few potions at work, the student worktables laid out with neat ingredients. Numerous torches burned around the room, and a few fires burned, cauldrons hanging on their iron hooks, simmering with various substances. The scene was comforting in a dismal way. It dispelled her fears of living in an ice chamber.

"As I teach you the potions you will need to survive," his voice cut through her thoughts, "You can use this for your workroom until school starts up in a month. This saves me from having to worry about you traipsing through my private stores and my workroom. I am aware that you will need supplies, which is what the cabinet in the back is for. The password for it is hippogriff." She wondered how much Snape knew about her, and the events she had been involved in at Hogwarts.

She followed him into the office. "This door will not open by alahomora. Its password is black secrecy, which as you know, references a certain meeting place. You will merely need to say the words." She followed in his wake, and was surprised when her new settings hit her. The office was as she remembered, but a door to the left led to a living room, where a futon was pulled out, sheets and a blanket neatly made up the bed. A comforter was folded on the end, and stacked on it was an invisibility cloak and a time turner. A space for her trunk was at the end, and a bedside table had a magical glowing ball, which could be extinguished by "nox." Hermione was pleased, especially when she noted the small wooden bookshelf and a bureau. Someone had put effort into her new residence, which brought her some hope for the days to come. She suspected Dobby's work here.

"The house elves did a nice job." She commented, realizing by the look on his face it wasn't what she thought.

"This is lovely. I'm sorry I misjudged. I truly appreciate this." His face seemed to accept that.

"The door to the right from here leads to my quarters, with my storage rooms and lab. I will not invade your privacy, gladly, so do not intrude upon mine. You may use the girl's toilets next to the Great Hall. Showers however... never mind. The bathroom is to the right when you enter. You use the bathrooms for a shower, but I'd rather be here, as I am a very wary man. I am not used to children in my space. I don't trust you, considering past events."

That hurt, though Hermione knew she deserved it. She sighed and nodded. "May I still visit the library, and such?"

"After hours. The teachers know your condition. Stay in the castle. No mail, no contact with other students, stay inside here when you are not in classes. You must arrive early and leave late so students do not notice you. This is crucial, Miss Granger. This is your life." She swallowed, realizing the sacrifices he made for her. She didn't want to think about how much he disliked this. She made a note to stay out of Severus Snape's way.

That night Hermione sat in bed, reading her potions book. The vitality draught and the strengthening solution would certainly help temporarily. Hermione made a note to ask Snape about her remedies in the morning. At that moment, he strode in. Handing her a frothing mug, she sighed and drained it. He took it silently and returned from his workroom a minute later, shutting off the light.

"Goodnight."

If he heard, he offered no response. Hermione was left in the dark, with only her books to comfort her.


	3. Changes

Author's Note: Thank you to my wonderful reviewers! I'd just like to say I appreciate how much feedback you give me! I welcome your ideas and questions, etc etc. Let the story continue.

Professor Snape awoke, an unsettled feeling in his stomach, the sort of sensation he got when a potion had exploded or he'd slept through a class. As if that ever happens, he reminded himself, and after all, it's still term. Still, it was awfully quiet, even for summer. He slipped on a robe, tied his hair back, and hurried to his workroom.

Hermione Granger was sleeping in his living room.

Oh god.

Wait. The previous day's events hit him at once. His head hurt thinking about it. He felt slightly perverse, standing next to a sleeping teenager on his futon couch. He couldn't help it- her collarbones protruded, her thin figure obvious under the thin sheet. He made a mental note to get her a quilt, even if it was for the selfish reason that he didn't want to think about how drained she looked. It was the same way he'd been on the night he came to Dumbledore in reconciliation.

She would need food too, and how was he, a solitary man, supposed to entertain a fifteen year old during the day? She wasn't even sixteen yet. He wasn't good at the birthday thing. Had he not been so resentful, he would have pitied Hermione Granger.

He went to get food from the kitchens. He could never ask the house elves to take care of him, after the way his father treated them as a kid. Remembering Hermione's S.P.E.W. badges, he internally sighed. Just because this was common ground, he wasn't going to let her use this one. She'd have to accept that he was a humble man.

She woke up, and her eyes adjusted slowly to the room. She hadn't forgotten about her new situation. She was surprised when she found a note on the coffee table, along with a book.

"I took the liberty of getting your breakfast for you. Clean up for yourself, as the elves don't come in here. You may use the ingredients in the student cabinets and your cabinet. Don't burn anything down, and be back here by noon. You have several potions you'll need to take, and learn how to make as well. I suppose we'll be taking meals together. Be prompt. Dinner is at 6 in the great hall with other faculty, unless you'd prefer to eat here. We will discuss these things at lunch."

Hermione checked the clock on the mantel. It was ten o clock, and she'd already slept in far past her usual rising time. She examined the book he'd left her. It was a manual, quite heavy, of standard N.E.W.T. potions. She grinned. Now she had something to do.

Standing up, her body startled her. Fresh bruises and patches of discolored skin had arrived overnight. Her nightgown draped over her shoulders loosely. Hermione sighed, holding back tears. She was dying, and so far, there was no cure besides the potions that held her body together for longer. She couldn't let go. As soon as she gave up, they could claim her. It was this, or the grave.

What would Harry and Ron think when they found out she disappeared? Maybe the grave was better after all.

She had to hold on. She slipped on drawstring flannels and old sweats and continued out to Snape's office.

Professor Snape looked up when Hermione emerged from his office, book in hand.

"Good morning." She tried a smile, then gave up. It was easier to be polite. "Breakfast and the book are wonderful."

He could tell she was pleased, and it made it easier on him to know she wasn't as ungrateful as he'd assumed she'd be. He was surprised at her, actually.

"Your potions are ready for you. Besides strengthening solutions and revival draughts, you'll also be taking a vitality draught. If these do not hold off the curse for long, we'll try something different."

She accepted the mugs and drained them. Her stomach lurched unpleasantly, but otherwise some of the pain went away.

"Is there a specific potion you'd like me to work on?" She asked quietly.

"I trust you remember the strengthening solution, and the recipes for revival and vitality potions are in your textbook." His voice was cold, but it didn't scorn.

She could accept that.


	4. Common Ground

_Author's Note:The story continues. I thank all of my readers. Next chapter Occlumency starts, and term too. What will happen when she has an encounter with Ron and Harry in the hallway? I hope this is a good lead up to a deeper plot to come._

_"The scarlet letter had the effect of a cross on a nun's bosom. It imparted to the wearer a kind of sacredness, which enabled her to walk securely amid all peril." The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne_

Hermione breathed in the musty air that came from ancient, slowly degrading books. She loved the feel of the library. It was like a thousand secrets were waiting for her to unravel them. She couldn't wait to let her hands run across the pages she'd sorely missed over the summer, and to fall into the charm and adventure of new ones. She was thankful Madame Pince was at her desk, reading. She wouldn't notice if a few books walked themselves away from the restriction section, as long as her book was good enough.

Hermione used the pads of her fingers to pull a book off the shelves, making sure only to touch the pages so the dusk free areas wouldn't give her away. She sat in the corner of the shadowed restricted section, and let it fall open on the ground before her. She was intrigued to see it held a documentary of the dark arts. The book was fairly modern, though a few years of dusk covered it. She began to flip through, and came across a picture of the original order, the people moving. Intrigued, she was interrupted by the clock chiming in the distance. Remembering Snape's order that she return by dinner, she hurried out of the library.

Hermione rushed as fast as her aching lungs would allow her. Snape wasn't in his office when she came, nor was he in the classroom. She re-read the note. Dinner wasn't until six, and if she hurried, she could take a shower before dinner.

She knocked quietly on his bedroom door, with no answer. She hesitated at the workroom door, and decided against it. She spent her time placing her books on the shelf, and folding her clothes. She changed into her favorite slacks and a maroon sweater Mrs. Weasley had sent. There was no reason she couldn't look nice for dinner.

Professor Snape billowed out of his laboratory, and his eyes rested on the orderly room. She looked up from Hogwarts, a History. He noted she had changed, and she was prompt.

"We'll eat here." She knew better to argue, but there was a deep disappointment in her eyes. He supposed it was her dream to converse with the professors, discussing intellectual topics. He supposed he should explain.

"Ministry members often come to dine with us, and discuss their policies. In case you aren't aware, quite a few Death Eaters are ministry officials." She nodded in recognition, and picked up her book again nonchalantly.

Severus couldn't help but notice how empty she looked. He was familiar with that. It was what he saw every day in the mirror, every bitter day of his life.

He didn't know how where they'd eat. He supposed he could conquer the table in his room out to the living room if she rolled up the futon. He highly doubted his appetite could suffice for her hunger. He usually nibbled on bread and cheese, with a cup of black coffee. He decided to let her order whatever she wanted.

"I thought we could eat here." He gestured around the living room. She took the hint and folded the futon. When she turned around, a simple wooden table and two chairs were arranged in the room. He lit a candle, and he waved his wand. His usual meal appeared.

"What would you like?"

"Actually, that looks nice." It reminded her of her trip to France. The cafes there were her heaven. "Some hot chocolate would be nice too. With extra foam?" He apparated her meal from the kitchens. They sat there in silence, each enjoying the food. Hermione wasn't sure what to say. She supposed he was used to silence at meals, knowing he never attended the family style meals the Order had. She loved those. There was always something to laugh about, and the warm feeling of family surrounding her.

He didn't know what she had expected, but clearly it didn't matter. She smiled at the thick cream on top of her drink, and he wondered what she was thinking. That gave him an idea.

"Miss Granger, considering the skills you will need with your condition, I would suggest that Occlumency might help you. Doubtless you know about it from Potter."

"I would be pleased to learn." He saw a smile escape her lips. "I thank you for your offer."

He gruffly nodded in return, but somehow, the meal wasn't as cold as it had been before.


	5. Memory Lane

_Author's Note:Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. I love your inspiration and all the enthusiasm you give me. Review if you wish, and enjoy the story!_

**Chapter Five: Memory Lane**

"I am going to penetrate your thoughts, allowing me access to your memories. Your task is to close your mind against me. I will not be easy. You may use any means you can to keep me from breaking your concentration."

"When do we start?" Hermione kept her composure as well as she could, but inside she was shaking. She took a deep breath and as if pushing her fears away, she waited, wand right out in front of her.

"_Legilimens_." His voice was soft, yet commanding. Scenes began to form in his mind, taking over his own thoughts.

_She raised her hand as a first year, wishing to show this intimidating stranger that she knew the answer, desperate to prove she could succeed. Her enthusiasm dropped like a bomb when he refused to look her in the eye. She raced up the stairs and set his robe on fire, and then disappeared again. She was adding ingredients to the simmering potion at her feet._ Those are mine! And what the hell is she doing, brewing potions in the bathroom? His thoughts tore in, breaking the connection.

She stood before him, looking him in the eye, waiting for him to say something.

"What potion were you brewing, may I ask?" His voice was deathly soft. When she didn't reply, he continued. "I merely need to utter a single word to access your thoughts until it comes to surface, and considering it is the topic on hand, it will not take very much time." He knew perfectly well what those ingredients were needed for, but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of getting away with stealing.

"It was the Polyjuice Potion. We were using it to turn ourselves into Crabbe, Goyle, and Bulstrode to see if Malfoy was the Heir of Slytherin. I was accidentally turned myself partially into Millicent's cat, and landed a trip to the hospital wing. You can expel me now." Her voice taunted slightly, knowing Dumbledore would allow no such thing at this point.

"It would be more worth my time if we continued with this. It will help you block yourself from the curse." He kept his face indifferent, not wanting to give her the satisfaction that she had considerable skill and her foolishness was rather amusing to him.

"Alright." Hermione was disappointed she hadn't gotten a reaction from him, and before she could think of blocking herself from his spell, she was captivated again.

_Hermione left Lupin's class, discouraged. She hadn't gotten a chance to repel the boggart. Her friends wouldn't talk to her because of her cat, and she sat in Hagrid's cabin, wishing that she's sympathized with Ron. She worked into the countless hours of the morning, watching Harry fail at the Summoning Charm again and again. She began to explain to Neville the components of yet another potion, to be reprimanded by Snape. _Her temper flared. Here she was, being bossed around by her arrogant professor. She let her anger fly right back into his face. "_Legilimens."_ He wasn't expecting this.

_Lily Evans pushed her cart faster. "You'll always be a good for nothing bitch!" Her sister called after her. She flipped her off, and got on the Hogwarts Express. "Hello Severus." She smiled, a lovely smile. He glared at her, not wanting attention from the beautiful, off limits muggle born. His father would hear about his lust for her from Lucius anyway...Lily watched him practice his charms, and approached him. "It's like this, Severus." she demonstrated, guiding his hand through the movements. He jerked away. "Don't look at me like that, I'm only helping." He hated the idea that someone who saw a better person in him was forbidden. He wanted more than anything to tell her he loved her, he didn't deserve her kindness, but he resorted to bitterness instead...He writhed under the Cruciatus, his abdomen on fire, his head stuck in a vice. He refused to open his mouth. He had to hold on. There was no way he would betray the Potters, after Lily's kindness to him. He had to turn his life around._

She let go of the connection. None of this was meant for her to see. Before Severus could utter a retort, he realized the office door had slammed. She was gone.

He sank into his chair, his head in his hands. He worked for years to hide the memories of Lily Potter. She was the biggest mistake of his life, and he'd tried to bury his memories along with her. How could an almost sixteen year old bring back memories that he'd been hiding for a time period as long as her life? Maybe that was it. Maybe this was his wakeup call. Severus Snape had been living in misery for far too long.

Hermione found him by the edge of the lake, slumped against the tree she'd studied under so many times. His greasy hair was hiding his face, but she didn't need Legilimens to guess who he was crying over. It didn't seem right, witnessing one of Hogwarts' most reserved professors crying under a tree, when he didn't know she was there. She whisked off the invisibility cloak, and sat next to him, careful not to touch him. She didn't know how to help him, but there was nothing worse than going through loss alone. Harry had taught her that much.

Hermione was afraid. She never asked to know what was behind the sallow faced mask of the Potions master. She didn't understand why she was placed with this burden. She didn't know how to handle sorrow any better than she knew how to face every day with her curse. She simply sat there, and let him cry, knowing that whatever happened, she would stay there with him.

"This isn't your fault." He looked up to meet worried brown eyes. Hermione refused to say what her conscience nagged her with: she'd pried, and broken their unspoken contract of respect. It was none of her business what Severus Snape was thinking about.

"Yes, it is." She whispered, not meeting his eyes. Cool hands met her chin, and his bitter expression met hers.

"There is no place for respect in the art of Occlumency. I cannot find a reason for you to blame yourself. There are many things you do not know, Ms. Granger, and one of them is that it isn't healthy to bottle up your emotions for too long. There are faults to Occlumency."

He regarded the young lady in front of him, so far behind his years of suffering and failure, yet willing to take the blame for his problems. Mr. Potter was lucky to have her as a friend. He wondered how much she bore for him over the years, and how much of his temper she'd handled. She had to be one of the most loyal people he'd met. She reminded him so much of Lily.

"We've missed dinner." She stated simply.

"And you aren't supposed to be outside." She slid on the cloak, and he brushed off his robes. They headed back into the hall together, and she held the door for him. He was embarrassed by her gesture, and grumbled, but secretly he was pleased.

It didn't take Moody's magical eye to see that a connection had bridged between the two. Snape knew it wasn't healthy to live in dreams, but she was everything that had been absent since Lily's death. He would do anything to make sure Hermione didn't meet Lily's fate.


	6. Drifting Tides

_Author's Note: Hey everyone, once again, my reviewers rock my world! Thank you. This chapter is a transition between basically two parts of the book. Enjoy, and leave a message if you wish. I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it._

_"I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear... I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never ever there at all." Here is Gone, Goo Goo Dolls_

Snape woke up early on September 1st, an unusual feeling of loss in his stomach. Soon the brats would be lurking in the halls, and he would lose her among the crowd. He burst open his bedroom door in a panic, and to his relief, Hermione slept peacefully under her covers; a book rose and fell on her chest, matching her breath.

He lingered in the shower longer that morning, letting the warm water slide away the memories of yesterday. It amazed him how much she reminded him of Lily now that he noticed the connection. Her quiet demeanor, with the thoughtful glance and gentle smile every once in a while, was a flashback every time he looked into her face. It hurt at the same time as warmed him, knowing she was forbidden, in a completely different way.

He sighed and dressed, pulling his hair out of his eyes and tying it back. Flipping through the mail, he found an answer to the way he could heal the burning emptiness he felt.

_Severus, _The letter read,

_I'm sure Miss Granger would like some new clothes, and her parents have mailed me her funds for this year. Perform the spells you need to disguise yourselves, and if she would like, take her to Hogsmeade. Consider this an outing for yourself as well, and try to remember she's been locked up for a month. Let her have a little fun, but be safe._

_Dumbledore_

He couldn't wait to see the delight on her face when she found out she was allowed out. It was unlike him, he knew, but he couldn't wait either.

Hermione woke up on September 1st, and wished she was still asleep. This was the day she'd been dreading since she came to Hogwarts. This was the day she officially became invisible.

A note was on her bedside.

_Miss Granger,_

_Come to the classroom when you are decent. Wear something presentable._

_Professor Snape_

She wondered what was in store, and slipped on jeans and a silky tailored shirt she loved. She grabbed her wand, and wandered out to the classroom, the cold stone floor stinging her feet.

Snape placed her usual array of potions in front of her, and waited until she had drunk them to speak.

"Dumbledore has sent you your allowance for the year, from your parents, and he gives his permission for us to go into Hogsmeade to shop, if you wish."

Her face lit up like a lamp, and she practically bounced. "Really? Are you sure you don't mind? Oh, thank you! This is fabulous. Let me go get my coat."

Bemused, he strode through the living room to get a cloak. He felt himself catching some of her enthusiasm, and he brought a handful of coins along for himself. Maybe she'd permit them to stop in the potions shop. He knew it was a little obvious for him to order potion ingredients in disguise, but he didn't go into town often.

She reappeared, her face pink with excitement, a scarf and beautiful pink coat on. "Obviously, Miss Granger, we will have to go in disguise. Is there any appearance you might prefer?"

"Well," she grinned, remembering the fun she'd had with Ginny and Tonks the previous summer, "I've always wanted to be a red head." It wasn't a lie, but she couldn't help asking, despite the nagging part of her that told her she was crossing the line.

With a wave of his wand and an incantation, she'd completely changed. Looking in the mirror, she was greeted by smooth, straight auburn hair, a gently curving figure a few inches shorter than her normal self, and dazzling blue eyes. Snape didn't trust himself around her if her eyes were green.

Hermione gasped. She looked exactly as she'd pictured. Waiting patiently at the door, a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair stood. He was lean, and three inches taller than her, about Ron's height. He wore slacks and a simple cloak. He wore a scarlet sweater, which complemented his hazel eyes. His choice of disguise left her wondering, and she would have never guessed who was behind it, had he not had the familiar smirk playing across his lips.

"Are you ready to go?"

Was she ever.

Snape held back a laugh, as Hermione dragged him down the street towards the bookstore. He found himself buried among the volumes for more practical use, while she explored the fantasies and adventure tales. She paid for a few staggering books, and they found themselves out among the crowd again.

"Where next?" she pointed to the robe shop. He shot her a reproachful glare, but she simply grinned and led the way. He hated shopping for clothes, but then again, this was her day. He waited, somewhat less than patiently, for her to try on a few garments. She wistfully stared a rack of dress robes, and he felt himself pitying her.

"Miss Granger," he started, but she tore her eyes away from the satin material that tempted her.

"It's not like I'm going anyway." She tried to brush off disappointment

"You never know what will have happened by December." He didn't know how to handle this.

"You're right." She perked up a little. "I might as well try some on."

His stomach skipped a beat when she picked out a beautiful green one. His memory shot back to Lily, waltzing gracefully with Potter on a Christmas Eve so many years back. She caught his eye, and her face fell slightly. He left the ball early that night.

"What do you think of this one?" She held up the sea green robe, and he realized he'd been staring off into space the whole time she tried them on.

"It looks nice." He said indifferently, and he bit back his emotions. It wasn't right, letting his memories get in his way. They never had before.

He hadn't known Hermione Granger so well then, either.


	7. Complications

_Author's Note: I'd like to open this chapter with thanks to my reviewers. In effort to show all of you how much you truly inspire me, I'm writing back to all of you. Keep on reading, and to all new readers, enjoy! The start of term opens new realizations for the two of them, and Hermione's friends begin to piece together the mystery to her disappearance._

_Starting from ch. 12 reviews and going back...)_

**Sallene:**I'm looking forward to writing more. Here's the next chapter (or possibly two) and thank you for your support.

**LushBaby:** I have to say, his disguise does sound yummy. The process of writing about Snape opening up has given me a new outlook on life. It's like unsweetened chocolate. I appreciate the sweet things in life more. Which leads us to Hermione...

**Catherine Ace**: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I can't wait to see what you think, and I'm honored to grace your favorites list. I won't deny that the pair has its faults, but it's a beautiful story to write.

**Grand-Illusion:** Thank you for the praise, I'm blushing. Thank you for the advice- you'll enjoy the next few chapters. The start of term will open some new possibilities for approaches to writing this story. I thank you for the review, and I hope you keep enjoying the story. Let me know if it needs that extra sparkle like the advice you gave me.

**Snoggingwithdrawl**: Thank you Becky! You totally rock my world, as usual. Beaucoup d'amour for your wonderful comments.

**PerfidaAnima**: Thank you, and I'm glad you appreciated the house elf bit too. Of course, they would be a menace, and I can't imagine Snape having the patience to put up with them either. As of this chapter, three more chapters for you. Enjoy!

**Flor**: Thank you for reading my story. Once again, I appreciate that someone noticed my house elf touch. You'll love the story, as Snape is starting to "open up". Keep on reading!

**Pearlofthemoon**: Thank you. Your comment sums it up perfectly, and inspired me to keep writing.

**Duj**: Thank you for your advice and criticism. Feel free to sign them, I appreciate your feelback.

**Magicsparkle1: **

Thank you for your review. More chapters posted for your enjoyment.

**Armor:** Thank you for your review. Hermione is in sixth year this year. I carried on the book from about a month after J.K Rowling left it.

_**On to the main attraction...**_

"You're fooling yourself, you know." He thought, pacing his room after they returned. "She isn't, and never will, be Lily Evans. You can't change the past."

Hermione stood in the arch of the entrance hall door, her hair blowing in the breeze. A tear fell from her cheek, as she watched the fleet of boats cross the ebony lake. It seemed like ages since she'd crossed those waters, and arrived, unaware of what waited. She wondered what the first years were thinking. She could see the faces of the closest ones. Their faces shone with wonder mingled with fear. She gazed upon them, unseen under her invisibility cloak. She could hear Hagrid's gruff yet warm voice, as he helped them dock. Hermione looked up to the heavens. The indigo skies were sprinkled with fresh stars, shining eons above her. She watched, dismally, as the carriages pulled up, and her heart tore as she watched the faces she'd known so well step out of a carriage three down the line. Ron handed down the trunks, and Ginny and Luna regarded the castle with a quiet look in their eyes. It looked like Ginny had been crying. Harry was grave, and Luna lost in her thoughts, the lights reflecting in her pale eyes.

Hermione couldn't watch anymore. She tore down the hall, and turned away from the festivities of the Great Hall. She flew down the stone stairs to the dungeons, her stone walled fortress. Uttering the password, she stalked through the office, not meeting Snape's worried eyes. She fell on the bed, and wept.

Snape gave her time to cry before he knocked on the door that separated the office from the living room.

"What do you want?" She sobbed, her voice strained. He entered the room, a goblet in hand. He sat down awkwardly next to her. Had she been in a better mood, Hermione would have laughed at the sight of Professor Snape sitting on a folded futon couch. This time she didn't look up.

"Here, drink this." His voice was calm, with a hint of sympathy. She accepted it, sticking out her hand. He sighed and placed the goblet in it. Clearly this wouldn't be easy for her to deal with. She coughed as the pepper up potion made her cough, but she felt better afterwards.

"Thank you." She whispered, wrapping the blanket around her.

"It's alright." Something caught his eye. It was an array of photos on her bedside table. He peered closer. One was of her on the holidays, at the World Cup.

"Ron! Put that camera away!" She giggled, swatting at him. In the background, a cheer spread through the crowd. "Ireland scored!" She cheered, despite herself. There was one of everyone in their Weasley sweaters, sitting around the fire at Christmas. Harry and Ron, in Hogsmeade. "Come on, Herm! It's freezing. Let's go get something warm to drink." Ron complained in the frame. There were others, but one in particular caught his eye. It was a muggle picture, of Hermione. She was by the beach, sitting in the sand. Her hair was drooping lazily over one shoulder, her gaze at something along the shore. Her eyes twinkled, even in the still frame.

Glancing at Hermione, Snape wondered where this beautiful girl had gone. She was several inches thinner now, and her eyes red from crying. She watched him, waiting for his reaction

"I have business to attend to." He commented. "As you know, I'm expected at the feast, but your health is more important."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." With that, he nodded, and left.

---

"Snape isn't at the head table." Ginny commented softly.

"Maybe he died," Ron replied, lost in what appeared to be a very good dream. "Or better yet, he got his nose stuck somewhere it didn't belong."

"Did you notice he hardly comes to meetings anymore?" Harry inquired.

"I haven't seen him since Hermione left." Ginny pondered.

"Strange."

At that moment a side door opened, and Snape billowed in, looking distracted. He was greeted with applause from the Slytherin table.

"As most of you know, Professor Snape is the head of Slytherin house and our resident potions master." Dumbledore introduced Snape, who scowled. "Resident" made him sound so... old, as if he already had one foot in the grave. He nodded to his house, and took his place among the teachers.

---

"Draco, have you noticed? The Mudblood isn't here." Pansy's urgent voice cut into his reign at the Slytherin table.

"Honestly, Pansy, are you dense?" He snapped. He had firm orders from his father to make sure it went by as a freak accident. No one could know of the plans Voldemort had for her.

"I heard she disappeared in an apparating accident." He mused. This was a good excuse that no one would doubt. He had his orders from his father, who had his orders from Voldemort himself.

And no one disobeyed Voldemort.


	8. Meet Again

_Author's Note:_ _Enjoy the chapter. I have to say, I don't usually do cliffhangers (shrug) but I'll pair this chapter with another when I update so my reviewers don't kill... lol. I love you all, so I stick to my update quick policy. Once again, thank you to all my reviewers. Ten reviews on chapter 7! Woo! Ladies and Gents, may I present chapter 8..._

_The darkness swirled around her, the only light coming from the twinkling stars so far above in the indigo heavens. Voices streamed around her. "What would yours be, a homework that only got a nine out of ten?" "You really are the brightest witch of your time." "You'll come home after term, won't you, darling?" "Beaky! He's escaped! He's free!" "He was hoping someone would figure it out..." "Do that one like the pig snout, Tonks." "Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?"_

_To her horror, one by one the stars in the sky disappeared. "Come back!" She cried. The voices faded to echoes. "Please," she whimpered, "Don't leave me." _

"Miss Granger." She opened her eyes slowly. "You're late." The face that awoke her was cross, but his touch was gentle, his hand gently shaking her shoulder. "Come on, get up." She groaned and rolled over, wincing. Fresh bruises marked her body.

"What time is it?" She asked, pulling her hair back with the band on the coffee table.

"It's eight o clock. You've missed breakfast." Though he appeared annoyed, there was worry in his eyes. "You don't have any new symptoms?"

"Some bruises. They're not too serious."

"Do you want me to get Madame Pomphrey?"

"I'm fine, really. It's nothing different than usual." Noticing that her breakfast was waiting for her, she smiled. "Thank you."

"I'll leave you to get changed. Your schedule is in my office."

Hermione folded the futon slowly, and rubbed her eyes. A thought crossed her mind and she grinned. If she had to be invisible, she might as well go naked. Surprised at herself for thinking like Ron might, she slipped on a robe and went to see what awaited her for the day.

---

"Double potions first! You _have_ to be kidding me." Ron griped. Harry adjusted his bag and grimaced.

"The years get better and better." He spat the words out, sarcasm heavy on his tongue.

"Potter! Weasel! Where's Mudblood? Don't tell me you'll have to sleep with someone else to get thenotes now."

Harry and Ron launched at him at the same moment. Thankfully Professor Snape opened the door just in time.

"Inside! _Now!"_ He gestured violently at the front rows. "Seeing as I can't take away points, you'll have a week of detentions, Mr. Malfoy."

"But _sir, _you certainly can't expect..." Malfoy whined.

"Don't make it two." His voice was dangerously soft.

In the back, Hermione frowned. He couldn't start acting like this. It wasn't normal for him to stick up for her. Malfoy was certainly going to tell his father, and that meant trouble.

---

"I thought today we can start with thestrals."

Ginny sighed, and picked her way around branches on the forest floor. She wasn't prepared for the sight that awaited her.

Hideous skeletal reptile horses with wings stared at her with blank eyes. She recoiled, horrified. "Hagrid!" She shook in place, shaking in fear, as they mingled around her. Their teeth nipped at the spot where sausage had fallen on her robes that morning, and the white eyes looked right through her as if she wasn't there.

Hagrid's mistake dawned on him as the flood of tears she'd held back was released. He wasn't gone. He couldn't be. Ginny panicked, and did the first thing that came to mind. She ran. Only Luna understood.

"Let her go," the girl sadly whispered to the thestrals, stroking their necks. "He isn't really gone after all."

---

Severus slipped into the Room of Requirement, relieved that his classes were over for the day. It had been too long since he'd had the freedom to see her face, to know her voice again.

He stood in front of the Mirror of Erised, her face regarding him quietly.

"Hello Severus. It's been a while." She smiled gently. Today she was fifteen again, her hair tumbling over her shoulders and her eyes glimmering. "I've been waiting."

Whether or not these conversations were figments of his imagination or she was really listening somewhere, he didn't know. That didn't stop him. It was as if seeing her face balanced him a little in those times where it was too painful to live any longer.

"You know I've been busy." He snapped.

She scanned his face sadly. "You haven't changed in the least, have you? I thought the girl would have done something to your demeanor."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean, Severus." She spoke with a woman's voice, wise for a young lady. He shook his head.

"I don't understand, Lily. I'm forty two. There's nothing I can give her."

She frowned. "Look at yourself in the mirror Severus! You don't have a clue, do you?" She began to walk away, fading into the distance.

"Lily, don't leave." He sighed. "Look, it's just..."

"I've never left you, and I never will. It's time you started living Severus. You can't dwell in your memories forever." Her voice was soft, apologetic.

"So this is goodbye." He stated coldly.

"I didn't say that. We'll meet again, I promise."

She was gone.

---

Hermione looked up from behind a stack of books when he came in, much of his usual gusto gone.

"Can I take a shower now?"

"Of course." He sank onto the couch, and she picked up a fresh set of clothes and disappeared through his chambers. He heard the water start to run, and the door close to the bathroom. He waved his wand, muttering an incantation, and tea appeared from the kitchen. Sipping it, he thought back over Lily's words.

Hermione's body ached as the water flowed over it. The steam filled the room as she picked out her shampoo from the assortment of bottles on the shower rack. After soaping and rinsing her hair, she applied conditioner and began to shave.

She was thinking about Snape. He'd been so tense lately, but something was different. She couldn't place it. She stood up to rinse, when her footing went wrong on the hard stone floor. She hit the ground with a smack, his head hitting the ground.

---

Snape looked up from grading the first set of potions. Five o clock, and the other room was silent. Where was she? It had been over an hour. He knocked on the door, and opened it. Panic hit him when the room was empty. Pulsing filled his ears.

"Miss Granger." He stated. To his horror, he heard the shower running.

"Oh for..." His first thought was that she was still in there. That wasn't like her. She was always in and out, never staying longer than she required. Something happened.

"I can't face this!" He kneaded his robes with his hands. "I can't handle this!" He couldn't just burst into the bathroom, without any clue. It wasn't right, even in the state of emergency. There was no time to get Mcgonagol. Then the solution crossed him.

"Legilimens." Nothing. There was nothing there. No. She was there just an hour ago. There was no way.

"Legilimens. _Legilimens. **Legilimens!"**_ Nothing. He refused to think what came to his mind first.

Taking a deep breath, he burst open the door.


	9. Flagstones

_Author's Note: I am boosting the rating to R here, for the nudity. I don't describe as much of Hermione's physical condition as I originally did, to keep from offending anyone. Let me know what you think. Next chapter is the big one. Hang in there, all my readers, and enjy the ride._

She was slumped on the bathroom floor, blood dripping onto the flagstones. Her hair was crumpled over her face, but by the rise and fall of her chest, he could tell she was alive. A flush burned his cheek as he gently rolled her over, checking her for further injury. The skin clung to her ribs, her petite figure so degraded from the curse she suffered. He turned the shower off, and smoothed the hair out of her face. He knew it was wrong to move her when she was injured, but he didn't really want to be standing over her naked form when she came back.

Picking her up and wrapping a towel around her head to catch the blood, he staggered to his bed, ignoring the way her limp body pressed against him, soaking his robes. He placed her under a quilt. In his bathroom cabinet, he grabbed a revival draught and towels.

"Miss Granger." He placed the vial to her lips, and tilted her head back. He waited tensely, his heart pounding. Pressing the wet towel to her head, he waited, applying pressure. It took a minute, but he needed that minute to calm his nerves. He braced himself for her reaction.

"What happened?" She asked shakily. He replaced the towel, not meeting her eyes.

"It appears you fell in the shower. I found you an hour later."

She closed her eyes, humiliated. Oh god. This hadn't happened.

"Considering there is hardly anything to hold you up, I don't doubt why you fell. Miss Granger, you cannot hide your physical state from Madame Pomphrey or me. Do you want to die?" He asked angrily. It was his job to keep her safe and healthy. It wasn't right of her to let herself get like this. Only yesterday she'd been a happy, energetic girl. A girl like Lily.

Tears escaped her eyes. "It isn't fair! Seeing them, and they don't even know where I am or anything... how do you expect me to live this way?" he didn't know how to answer that one. _Maybe you should tell me that. Try living your life with no friends, with no condolence. How does it feel when day after day you wake up to dodge curses in the halls, to be the laughing stock of the class, to know that you have no future. How does it feel when the one you love is forbidden? You tell me, Miss Granger. _

"Hold this." He handed her the towel, and went into her room and got a robe from her trunk.

"Here. I'm going to go get Madame Pomphrey."

He waited outside the door to his room, anxious. It had been over an hour since Madame Pomphrey had arrived, in a state of shock. He could hear whispers, but nothing else.

"She'll be alright, after the potion I gave her and rest. She took a nasty gash, and she's very thin. I suggest you train her as well as you can, Severus. She'll need it. She's starting to lose herself."

---

It was awkward, lying in his bed. She looked around at the modest room. There was a lone picture on his fireplace mantel. Lily Potter, or Lily Evans as she had been at the time, set down her camera. "Don't forget me, Severus. I know I won't forget you." Hermione recognized her dorm in the background.

A knock came at the door. "Come in, it's your room after all."

Professor Snape stepped in, not meeting her eye.

"You saved my life."

"I'm sorry." He didn't look up.

That startled her. "So you'd rather have me dead?"

"No. I meant that I'm sorry I let you get like this."

"None of this is your fault." She met his eyes.

"Yes it is."

"You can't blame yourself for what you can't control. You couldn't have possibly known I fell."

"You don't get it, do you? If I hadn't joined the Death Eaters, then I wouldn't have had to betray Lily. The prophecy wouldn't be formed. You wouldn't have run off to the Ministry, and you wouldn't have this curse."

She stared at him. "So instead, you'd rather have Voldemort still at the peak of his terror, and we wouldn't have any hope?"

He stared at her. _"I thought the girl would have done something to your demeanor." "We'll meet again, I promise."_ Is this what Lily meant?

He had to know. "Wait."


	10. Melt

_Author's Note:_ _I'm keeping this R for a while, since I can't decide what rating it should be. To thank my wonderful reviewers, here's chapter 10! I know a contradict myself a little in this, but I think the story needed it._

Hermione's eyes searched his face, curious. "What is it, sir?"

What was he doing, anyway? "Don't forget to take your potion tonight."

She nodded. "I'll be in the library, doing homework."

"You should rest." He said stubbornly. "You can't afford any more accidents. The Order needs you." _I need you. I've been so alone for so long._

"I'll be alright." She reassured him, and picked up her book bag. She supposed it was the drugs, but she felt fine. Throwing on the invisibility cloak, she stepped out into the hall, searching for students in the dim corridor. Seeing none, she hid in a broom closet. The library was the last thing on her mind.

Pulling the tiny hourglass out of the bag, she pushed the bag behind the brooms in the closet. She turned it twice and waited for the brief period of dizziness to pass. She stepped out of the closet, checking to make sure the cloak was in place. All the other students were at dinner.

"Good," she whispered. "This is good." How was she supposed to get in without him noticing her? She had to know what happened, despite the fact that on her part, this was sneaky and wrong. Hermione felt terrible, wondering if she wanted to know what really happened. She didn't like betraying his trust.

According to her watch, it was about a quarter to five. She sat next to the office door, waiting. She could hear his footsteps, and once or twice he startled her, coming out into the classroom for more vials, graded parchment in hand. Off in the distance, the clock chimed five o clock, and she heard the chair rub against the floor as he stood up. The door to the living room slammed. She waited a minute, and then crept through the office. He was standing in her room. "Miss Granger!" She could hear the water running in the background. "Oh for... I can't face this! I can't handle this!" He stood at the bathroom door, kneading his robes, in a total panic. He raised his wand. In horror it dawned on her what he was going to do.

She concentrated all her fear on keeping herself out of this. She closed her eyes, scrunched her face, and waited. Nothing happened. Finally she heard in her ears rather than her mind, the door open. She let out a quiet sigh of relief.

He stared at her in horror, taking in the sight before him. She shivered at the sight of herself. If he hadn't come in time... her side tingled as he rolled her over gently, hissing at her head. Seeing no further harm, he turned off the water and wrapped her head in a towel. Hermione ignored the throbbing her head felt. She held her breath as he picked her up, limp as a rag doll. He staggered a little, and she backed up quietly, avoiding a collision. He laid her down carefully, placing a quilt over her. Whatever he gave her made her come around. That was all Hermione needed to see. She was humiliated, and felt both her faces going red. It was so silly of her to expect him to lie to her about the incident when he was in charge of her care. She'd wronged him even thinking the thoughts she had. He would no sooner take advantage of her then any other teacher. She felt as if she'd committed a terrible crime. She slipped out the open door, and went back to the closet, where she slumped against the wall, and let the tears roll.

---

Hermione came to her senses when the clock struck eight. She got up, wincing at the soreness in her body, and went back, taking off the cloak as she came in the door.

"Where were you? You've been gone over an hour." He got up from the couch, worried. She could see he'd worked himself up over her. His voice was quiet, a little cold even, but she could hear the relief at knowing she was safe.

"I'm sorry." She found she couldn't look him in the eye.

"Are you alright?" She could hear his steps coming closer. "Miss Granger. Is there something I should know?" His voice was gentle, soft. She'd never heard him talk like that before. _I don't deserve this kind of treatment. If he only knew what I did!_

She brushed by, feeling her eyes sting from her salty tears. She sank onto the futon and sobbed.

He stared, letting his resistance fall away. He'd never seen her like this. She was so much easier to care for when she was out cold. Once again, he found himself sitting awkwardly next to her. He pushed his greasy hair out of his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He inquired, wondering where to start this. She looked up, meeting confused black eyes.

"You don't deserve to have to put up with me." She stated firmly.

"Don't say that. I've never felt better in my life." Amber eyes met his own. A tear rolled down her cheek. Hesitantly, he reached out. Hermione felt herself holding her breath as he wiped it off, his eyes looking down when his fingers met the smooth skin on her face. He began to lower his hand, and she caught it.

"Thank you." She whispered softly. His hand was surprisingly warm. She found it was her turn to look away as she let go of it slowly. They sat there, thinking.

"You must really have a sad life if being my keeper is the best it get." She smiled a little. He found himself chuckling, and she giggled. They began to laugh, and when Hermione fell off the futon, they only laughed harder.

He offered her his hand, and she stood up. She watched as he folded the couch again. She tried to ignore the growing feeling that he was quite nice, handsome in a dark mysterious way. "I really should get a different couch." He mused. "I don't see how you sleep on this."

"It isn't bad, really." She smiled. He found that something inside him seemed to lift.

"You must be starving. How about dinner?" He offered, scolding himself for forgetting that not everyone had his appetite.

"It's a deal."


	11. Mud

_Author's Note: I just suffered a major heartbreak. The guy I liked told me at a slow dance that his composure was a mask, and I assumed he liked me. Wrong! He totally led me on, which is where this chapter comes from.. Enough about me. Now that I'm in the nasty mood I'm stuck in, I have the inspiration to finally get this story a little darker, with more angst, romance, betrayal, and the works. Enjoy. I apologize if my writing is not the same. I write it as it comes, and sometimes chapters reflect my moods. A warning: i dont' agree with everything I write, but this chapter felt necessary to show the urgency of the situation._

"_Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." Michel du Montaigne_

For the first time, Ginny skived off Quidditch, skipped two meals, and stayed up all night shaking. She didn't want to think about him anymore, but the harder she tried, his doggish laugh and crooked smile wouldn't leave her.

_It was the afternoon before Harry was coming, and she wasn't ready to face a summer in the shadows of Ron and his trio. Rejection was bitter, and Ginny had enough. She'd left the table abruptly that morning when he was mentioned, and she fled to Buckbeak. It was there that Sirius found her._

"_James told me that women fall more for horses and I see why he's right." She looked up from Buckbeak's plumage, her eyes red. He beckoned to the old bed frame, and she sat beside him._

"_It isn't fair. The trio keeps me out of everything, I'm just Fred and George's kid sister, and there's no use for me in the Order." She retorted, picking feathers off her angrily._

_"You're fourteen." He stated simply. _

_"That's what everyone says." She stood up, frustrated. "How can you stand being stuck here?" She gestured angrily to the walls around her. "It's hell."_

_"I've learned to put up a mask. There's nothing I wouldn't do to be your age again." He sighed. She looked at him carefully, and stopped pacing. _

_"Masks are for Death Eaters. I like you better as you are." She realized in horror what she'd implied, and even worse, it was true. He reminded her of a more sophisticated Harry. She saw the intrigued amusement in his eyes, and immediately regretted it._

_That night she stormed out of the living room, another lost battle. He was so indifferent. She hated him, realizing it never was a mask all along. She could never rely on him. _

It hurt so much to hear him die, to hear Harry's screams. It was as if the part of her that had dreams, that cared, was thrown away. It was as if a dementor had sucked the soul out of her.

She stormed into the Great Hall, totally distressed. With less than five hours of sleep, Ginny was a mess. The sight that met her eyes was worse.

Neville was shaking, and rocking back and forth in his chair. Harry and Ron were dumbfounded, holding a ministry sealed letter. Fearing the worst, she ran over.

"Neville! What's wrong?" He shook harder, and she was dangerously afraid he'd have a seizure.

Harry silently handed her the letter, solemn. "_We regret to inform Neville Longbottom, son of Alice and Frank Longbottom, that they have passed on... Nothing we could do...unstable conditions...not our choice to shut down life support..."_

"I'm going to throw up." She stated. How could anyone cut _life support?_ They were his parents. Neville trembled, rocking himself back and forth, teetering on a breakdown.

"Come on, Neville. We're going to the hospital wing. It'll all be ok." She knew that was a lie. There was nothing she could do.

When she got into Potions at the end of the day, Snape seemed flustered. Hermione took her usual spot in the back, but today, she watching him as he taught the class. The fact that Neville's seat was empty disturbed her. Hermione spent most of last year helping him achieve his OWLs so he could take this course to become a Healer. Neville never missed class, through thick and thin.

Snape kept glancing at the desk, unnerved. As soon as the class left, she strode up to him, locked the door, and whipped off her cloak.

"Where's Neville?" Her voice betrayed her poise. He felt the urge to reach out and steady her.

'Miss Granger..."

"I said, where the hell is Neville?" She was thoroughly shaking now.

"We need to talk." He led her to the living room, and he stood. She sank into the couch, afraid of the answer.

"St. Mungos cut his parents life support. He's in the hospital wing." His voice was gentle, smooth. He didn't intend her to find out like this.

Snape wasn't sure what he expected, certainly for her to try to deny it, or fight back in anger, but never did he expect her to go limp like a rag doll. She lay there, curled in the fetal position, letting the tears roll.

"Miss Granger." They had gone through this too often.

"Hermione." It was as if she'd shut down everything. Her breathing was too rapid, her sobs getting out of control.

"That's... I can't... no...please...You're....wrong...not..."

She found herself in warm, comforting arms. He placed her gently in his bed, and wrapped the comforter around him. "Drink this. It'll help." Realizing she couldn't hold the potion on her own, he placed it to her lips and tilted her head back. She obediently swallowed. As soon as she was in a dreamless sleep, Snape found himself at the headmaster's office.

"Sir, she knows."

All she'd wanted was someone to care about her, to hold her when she needed it most. She wandered the halls, empty. Ginny Weasley didn't realize where she was until a smooth voice came from the hallway.

"What do you want?" She snapped. Draco Malfoy lounged against the dungeon wall. He simply laughed softly, and approached her dangerously.

"Your father is behind this, isn't he? He gave the orders to kill Neville's parents." She stood there, petrified.

"Until we find your Mudblood friend, things might be...slipping." His voice was viciously calm, his attitude perfectly unnerved by her look of horror. "If you know what's good for you, you'll listen to me." He trapped her against the wall, and she struggled. He captured her lips with his, letting her know he had control of her with a slight nip. He clenched her chin.

"This is the deal, rag girl. Every night you will tell me everything you know about Hermione Granger's current location, or there will be consequences. Those are your choices. Be my spy, or serve the job as the whore that you deserve to be. Consider this a warning. If you let anything slip, your days are numbered." He released her, throwing her against the wall, and swept away.


	12. Rock Bottom

_Author's Note: Chapter 13 is coming up, and by accident, is the BIG one you've all wanted, but 12 has to come first... I lefta mild cliffhanger, but I'm including thirteen with this update, so my reviewers will be happy about that... this is a litte dark, and the next chapter is very sad, so just a warning..._

Ginny didn't know who she could trust. She couldn't just march up to Dumbledore. _Malfoy's going to make me his slut if I don't tell him Hermione's location, which I have no clue about... so, what do you suggest?_ Like that would go over well. She wouldn't admit it, but she was afraid to see the old man's face, and she knew he was in enough trouble with the ministry without dragging Lucius Malfoy in as well. Ginny racked her brain, and the solution came to her finally. She had to visit Hagrid, but there was something she needed first.

Ginny had never been up the boy's dormitory staircase. She touched the forbidden steps, expecting electric shock, but nothing happened. She slowly climbed the stone spiral, shaking with anticipation. The shadows on the walls alarmed her, making her heart jump at every bend. Finally she reached a small brass plaque stating "6th years."

It was well past midnight, but Ginny didn't care. She crept down the row of beds, with curtains drawn around them. Dean and Seamus were closest to the door. Ginny suppressed a giggle, looking around the room curiously. Soccer posters strewn the walls, and clothes were everywhere. She kicked away a pair of boxers in disgust and stepped around robes and books. "Now where is Harry?" She whispered to herself. The answer was the middle bed. She pulled back the drape and placed her hand over his mouth, shaking him gently.

"Mmph!" His eyes flashed open, and relaxed slightly when he realized who it was. She put her other hand to her lips and released her grip on his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" He looked at the watch on the nightstand groggily.

"I need a favor please." She ignored the growing ball of butterflies in her stomach at the sight that he slept shirtless.

"_At two am?"_

"Can I borrow your cloak and map? It's urgent." She sighed, and hoped he wouldn't remember this in the morning.

"They're in my trunk." He glanced at her sleepily once again. "Do I dare ask?"

"No." She rummaged through the heaped mess, and at the bottom found the cloak and map. She didn't like attempting midnight escapades without taking precautions. Taking them out, she thanked him.

Ginny rubbed her eyes feverishly to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"Harry! _Harry!"_ She whispered, astonished. "_She's alive!"_

----

Severus Snape didn't know what to do. It was two am and he couldn't sleep. The futon was too short for him, and he found himself awake another night in a row, worrying about her. He entered his quarters once again, extinguishing the lone candle he'd left burning. She slept soundly, too peacefully. He wondered how long the shield that blocked her mind from her actions would last.

_He watched her sleep, working diligently for Madame Pomphrey on a potion that the stock was almost out of. He knew he could have refused to help, but it gave him an excuse to watch Lily Evans sleep. _

_She'd gotten hit by a bludger a beater launched at her, and she's fallen out of the stands. He remembered the horrified look on her face, the distress that rippled through the crowd, and the dawning that Potter saved her before he could react. His slowing charm saved her life, and Severus was left among the crowd as he swept her to the hospital wing. _

_It was the cry that distracted him from his work. She was absolutely bawling, all her tender composure lost. He glanced around for Madame Pomphrey, but she was nowhere to be found. He got up from the finished potion, and went to her bedside. He found her head in his shoulder, her slight frame wearily sobbing._

_"I can't believe they would do that to me. What have I done to them?"_

_He didn't know what to say. "You've done nothing."_

_"I should be dead right now. What happened?" She couldn't remember why she hadn't felt the ground, the instant relief from the frustration she lived through._

_"I believe that is for you to ask Potter."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"That's exactly what I mean." He walked away. The next week she was in Potter's arms, and it wasn't until then it hit him. That could have been him._

"Sir?" He was watching her, his eyes far away. She found herself snug among his sheets, surprisingly rested. The thoughts of the day hadn't left her completely. She couldn't shake the feeling of shadows dwelling around her.

"Miss Granger. You should be sleeping."

"You looked so far away." Her eyes watched his, the beautiful dark brown shade like coffee beans. He thought of mornings in the cold, without her smile to warm him. He remembered how life was tasteless before her, how life was simple, like the black coffee he lived by.

"I apologize. I merely blew out the candle."

"Is that what you really meant?" She whispered softly. "Why won't you tell me why you act like this?"

_This is who I am. It's the mask that I've dropped. I'm lost in this world; I'm alone among the darkness of my past and the painful edge of the present._

Her eyes met his, entrancing him. He was motionless as she stepped out of his bed, wearing her crinkled uniform. Her skirt was crinkled high on her thighs, her vest off the shoulder. She was so close now. He was afraid to breathe; afraid that one wisp of warmth was enough to crash the walls surrounding him. She regarded him sadly.

"I don't understand you. I trust you, why won't you trust me?" Her words hit him like a sledgehammer. She trusted him.

He found himself pressed against the soft fading skin exposed on her shoulder, his tears meeting glowing skin. Her hand was in the small of his back, stroking him gently. She didn't know caused the pain in this man, but not for the first time she knew that he needed her. She pressed her face into the thin robes on his shoulder, letting herself cry as well.

He pulled away, ashamed. She pressed her hand to his tingling lips. Her hand trembled. The day had been intense enough.

Her eyes followed him, disappointed and relieved at the same time. She didn't know what she wanted, but she didn't want to be alone anymore. He sank onto his bed, lost in thought.

"Sir?"

"You're still here." His voice was curt, but it wasn't angry. If anything, he looked frustrated, but she couldn't think of a reason for it.

"I don't want to be alone anymore." She tucked herself in his sheets, letting the heat of the comforter warm her.

"Miss Granger... Alright. You can stay only because I don't trust you on your own in the state you're in." He tried to make his voice aloof, but it didn't work. He was pleasantly surprised when he found her head nestled on his shoulder, her body tucked under his arm comfortably. Ironically, he remembered that tomorrow was her sixteenth birthday. Amid all this peril, he'd never felt better in his life.

----

Harry and Ginny stared at the map in shock. The tiny black dot was labeled Hermione Granger. To their utter dismay, another dot neighbored hers. "_Severus Snape? What the hell does he think he's doing?"_ Harry hissed loudly.

"_Ron!_" Ginny threw open his curtains. "Hermione's alive. Either that, or..."

"The map doesn't lie. She has to be alive. Or she's a ghost, but that means that she's still here..." Harry fumbled for his glasses

Ron burst out of bed. "Harry, if this is one of your bloody dreams, I'll murder you on the spot."

"Look! I'm not lying." Ron gaped at the parchment, and grabbed it.

"Come on, we're going down there. The cloak can hold three, right?" Harry made a snorting noise. "Where's Neville?"

"He's still in the hospital wing." Ginny assumed.

Neville most certainly wasn't.

----

The night was starless, the sky grey with mourning. He sat at the top of the tower, shivering in the cold. Below he could see a wide dark expanse that was recognizable as the lake.

A single light flickered in the Gryffindor tower, but it was too late for him. He was lost within himself.

_"We're almost done, hold on. What ingredient blends with doxy drops to produce a think vapor which heals the sinuses?" Hermione smiled, even though it was well past ten o clock._

_"That's easy. It's dragon blood. You add one drop." He finished off the essay, and put it in his bag. _

_"You still have the homework planner!" She smiled. Harry and Ron didn't have to know, but she gave Neville a present every year. It wasn't pity; they'd gotten along fairly well since first year and she couldn't help thinking about him around Christmas, when she was sentimental. It was thanks to Hermione that he got into Potions. Neville cared as much about Hermione's welfare as she cared about his. Late nights in the library he'd come in with hot chocolate when Madame Pince wasn't looking._

_"You hardly eat, Herm. You must be freezing." _

_"It's ok, only two more rolls left to go..." She smiled wearily and accepted the drink with gratitude._

_Neville couldn't believe it when she'd almost died in the bowels of the ministry. He knew that was a pulse, it had to be... he couldn't live without her voice. Her wonderfully firm shoulder was gone, and no one to lean on when he needed it. He was doing horribly in school, and Snape didn't even bother trying to yell him into effort anymore. The light at the end of the tunnel was gone._

Neville watched the shades of grey fade lighter and lighter as the minutes went by. He had to do this soon, because he couldn't face the bottom if he knew what was there. He leaned over the edge, letting the wind whip his face. He was so tired, his eyes falling closed gently. If this was what death was like, he would gladly accept it.


	13. Losing Hope

_Author's Note: Here I am again; writing one of these notes... this chapter is very confusing and a little graphic. I'm warning you, this is my though surge from all the pent up thoughts I haven't updated. Let me know if this is too fast. I have a rule of never changing what I've already posted, because those were my original thoughts, but this is a stretch. I know it's crazy but... hey. JK Rowling came up with Harry Potter out of the top of her head, so can my plot. Enjoy._

Snape, half asleep, shot out of his skin when firm pounding came from the office door. It echoed through the icy rooms, sending a chill down his spine. He gently lifted Hermione off his shoulder, and stood up.

"Damn! He has this place warded." Ginny rubbed her tingling hand.

"Come on Snape! We know she's in there!" It was Harry, his voice urgent and angry "You can't hide from us forever."

"What the ... oh shit." He opened the door to three angry Gryffindor faces that he would have paid big money to never see in his presence again.

"I believe a week's detentions are in order for being out of bounds at _3 am."_ His voice was dangerously ready to explode. "_What is the meaning of this?"_

"This." Harry thrust it in his face, keeping a tight hold on it nevertheless. Oh my God, Snape thought. Potter's friggin map. I should have known. His answer for how to deal with this problem came next.

"Ron! Harry! Ginny!" Hermione ran over wearily, stopping halfway, wheezing. Her condition was obvious by her stature. They stared in shock at a skeletal version of the girl they knew.

Snape stepped aside as they embraced her. "Herm...what happened to you? " He gripped her a little too tight, and she winced in pain. Snape restrained himself at the sight of mixed pain and delight at the sight of them.

"Can you give us a minute, please, Professor?" He stepped back, burned. She'd never shunned him away like this. _I told you, _The little voice echoed in his head, _you fooled yourself all along. She has never, and will never love you. It was a façade, a shortcoming because her friends were gone. You were her filler. Just like Lily._ He knew from the better part of him that this wasn't true, but his emotions blinded him beside the cool mask he carried. Calmly he nodded and retreated to his rooms, but she didn't miss the clue when he shut the door harder than usual.

She stepped into the classroom with them.

"It's a long story, but you'll have to understand this is for the best." Tears fell from her cheeks. There was only one way to do this without permanent damage: her defense against the dark art lessons had taught her such. _Whoever is out there listening, _she thought,_ please forgive me._

"Nothing can be for the best if you're living with Snape." Harry retorted.

"You don't understand."

"What is there to understand?" Ron asked. He didn't get it either. Hermione wasn't herself. Where had the warm hugs, the arguments, the bossiness gone? She was so pale, as pale as her personality had become. She had drifted too far for him to relate. Ron was lost.

Harry regarded Hermione. She was so guarded. He wasn't sure what had caused this change in her. Snape was a harsh person, and maybe that was coming through in her demeanor. He missed the girl who had befriended him with her bright ideas for the last six years. Hermione never acted like this. If she was hiding something, she was aloof. Right now, she seemed distant, far away. She was almost apologetic, but in a quiet way.

She stepped up, and hugged each of them. She smiled at Ginny. "I'll miss you." To Ron, she looked bitter sweetly. "Even if it didn't work out, I still love you. I can't imagine life without you."

She came to Harry, the other two watching her speechlessly. Here was the product of Lily's love, James' torment, the forbidden memories Snape held so quietly, waiting for time to claim him so he could finally let go. He was her hope, her past, her friend, her life.

"You have your mother's eyes." She said thoughtfully. "And that is a beautiful thing. I'm so sorry about this, and I will miss you all. I've always loved you." She raised her wand, wavering.

"Hermione, what the hell...?"

"Obliviate Hermione Granger." The charm was complex and took incredible control to do, but Occlumency had taught her that. Slowly, the threads began to unravel, and the memories began to degrade.

She walked into the rooms silently, and sank onto the couch, her head in her hands. "What have I done?"

Harry looked at the rest of them. "Why are we down here, anyway? Let's go back to the common room."

Snape came out, having heard the door close.

"Well, what's done is done." Her words stopped his steps halfway past her.

"Miss Granger, you foolish girl, do you realize the trouble that will come from this? I believe I have misjudged you."

"You have nothing to worry about."

"Three students are walking around with your current location! What am I supposed to be calm about?"

"To those _certain three students, Hermione Granger never existed._"

"What do you mean?" His voice was sharp.

"The Oblivious Personify charm." She stated softly. "Now I don't have to worry for them anymore, because it's alright."

"No. Miss Granger, do you realize the complications of this?" He shot her a bitter look. "_What will Mrs. Weasley think? Have you thought this through?"_

"Take a look at Lockhart. This stuff can be reversed, sir, and it's all in the eye of the beholder. I didn't really want them to forget me, so don't I have some control in the degree of my charms? That's the beauty of magic. Take a look at me. I'm living proof that magic is controllable." She was afraid to believe herself. She was gone. Her closest friends no longer knew her existence. What was life coming to?

He stared at her.

"I have to see Dumbledore."

----

He was gone. She looked around her for a distraction, something to keep her mind off the pounding of thoughts catching up to her.

The map was her answer. She picked it up curiously. Most of it was clear, bunches of students in their dormitories. One caught her eye. It paced the Astronomy Tower. Neville.

There was no way she could make it in time. Hermione ran, knowing almost all her strength was gone. She pounded the steps out, concentrating only on the current thought that crossed her mind. _No. Neville wouldn't do this. He's sensible. He's probably out for a midnight walk. That's it. It isn't what my mind thinks. I don't think straight at 3 am. It's all a dream. I will wake up, and it will be a bad dream, and I will be back in his arms, sixteen years old at last._

She gasped, and threw herself up the last steps. The sky was losing the darkness, the stars fading one by one. _You're dreaming. Soon this will be over, and his voice will come back to you, telling you you're late. You're late for your sixteenth birthday. _

She was too late. "**_Nooo! Neville!"_** She screamed, to no use.

He knew he was crazy. Is this what people think before they die? Her voice rang through his ears.

"It's too late." He didn't remember hitting the ground.

She staggered across the entrance hall, and out to the lake edge. The sight that met her eyes made her sick. He was weak as a rag, his bones crushed from impact. She was amazed he was in one piece, though the blood flowed freely now, seeping into the soil leaving a stain. His ribs stuck out, his head cracked. His mouse brown hair was matted, thick with the oozing red. She sobbed, and wrapped her arms around him hopelessly.

"No. Come back, Neville. _Come back! This isn't real. **NEVILLE!"**_ Her screams faded in the empty grounds. Overhead, shades of pink and orange began to rise slowly, illuminating the horror that met her eyes. He hadn't lived to see the dawn.

_----_

"Miss Granger." She was awakened in the same position, several hours later. It was a dream. That was Snape, waking her up as he often did in the mornings when she had slept late because of troubling dreams. How horribly she was wrong.

Dumbledore stood next to a ministry official, who wrapped a long figure in a black bag. The voice that woke her was cold, cruel. A flicker of fear jolted through her. It was Lucius Malfoy, a sick smile played across his face.

"I believe I have the honor of arresting you." Her hands were bound.

"There is no proof that Hermione did this. I believe she was merely unfortunate to be the first to discover Mr. Longbottom." Dumbledore was pale. In all of his years, he'd never faced this before.

"So how do you explain her state of absence for two months, then the fact that you say she was not the one who committed this? His blood is on her clothes."

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape charged in, cloak billowing. A shot of hope surged through her.

"It appears Hermione Granger, who seemed to be missing, has killed a fellow student." Lucius sneered.

"No, she was with me. She couldn't have done this. I don't understand." Realizing his words, he froze. Lucius found this thrilling.

"So, the truth comes out. A murderer, a liar. The dementors will be pleased tonight."

"You don't have the authority for this!" Dumbledore boomed. "It isn't possible!"

Lucius held up a parchment. "It appears there has been more than one death this morning."

"No." Snape retorted. "No fucking way. You're wrong. This is wrong. This is all part of your plot."

"Is it? The minister's death had nothing to do with me."

"Really. Is that why you're minister now?" He shot back.

"I would be careful who you talk to. I have the power to sentence your death without trial, and it has been arranged. Your treason will be punished." The shadowy figures appeared through the gate. Hermione found she couldn't breathe.

His hand clasped hers, and they stood there, awaiting evil. She fought her bonds, he his. This couldn't be the end.

"Any last ideas?" She cried bitterly. The dementors were nearer. She watched the lake turn to ice.

"Legilimens."

"What?" He was crazy.

"On the count of three."

"I don't get you... I have no wand! What are you trying to prove here?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes!"

"Then believe. One two three."

Memories soared past her. Harry, Ron, and her at the Quidditch Cup. The department of mysteries. Oh god, they were so close now.

A voice cut into her thoughts. It was him. She watched as he scooped her out of the shower, minutes from death.

_Hold on._ He was there, beside her, holding her, in her thoughts. This time, she held on. She grasped him with all her might in her thoughts.

_They can't take this from me. They can have me, but this is mine._ She blocked the darkness with all her might, holding back the forces that battled her. She grasped his hand, his neck, her dreams. Her memories, her present, her future. She wouldn't let him go.

She felt herself slipping. _Don't leave me!_ She cried sadly.

_I've always been here. It's time you start living._ The words echoed in his now empty head. He'd never know if she heard that. They were gone.


	14. Fallen

_Author's Note: Second to last chapter and I'm keeping this one short. I hope you all enjoy as mcuh as I enjoyed writing it, and I thank you all for reading and writing reviews. As I can't think of anything else, oh, besides that there will be an epilogue as well, let the story continue._

Ginny wheezed. His hand was too tight on her neck, his fingernails on her wrist drawing blood. She didn't understand what this was about. Draco Malfoy had no reason to attack her.

"What do you mean, _who's Hermione Granger?" _His voice cracked at her like a whip.

She struggled. "I don't know what you mean. Let me go! I haven't done anything to you to deserve this."

"You don't _deserve this?_" She squirmed under his grip, but his wand was raised first.

"Imperio." She found she couldn't look away. "You will tell me exactly where Hermione Granger is."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Crucio. You will obey me." She screamed, falling to her knees hopelessly. She writhed under the weight of an invisible attacker, as the world became dark around her.

She only remembered momentary relief before her defenses fell.

----

He wouldn't watch his best student and loyal teacher go down without a fight.

"Expecto Patronus!" The silver phoenix burst from the want in silver flame, illuminating the air with its essence. It shrieked, sending a cry to ward off the evil it faced. The shrouded dementors blew back, repelled by the beams of light.

"You fool!" The red flash shot violently through the air, but ricocheting off the rays emitted by the radiant phoenix. Dumbledore held the shield in the back of his mind.

"I believe you are mistaken, Lucius. There is more to power than destruction for one's desire. The fate of the community lies in this girl, and I'm not about to let go!"

"This Mudblood! A good for nothing whore! Are you blind?" He shot a deadly curse, and the silver flickered, penetrated for a second. Dumbledore fumbled.

"So you aren't immortal." He hissed softly. "Imagine that."

Across the grass, a figure emerged through the night. "Lucius, you attempt to take on the greatest man of all time?" The voice sneered. The owner of it let his hood drop. Red eyes pierced the night. "We will see who the greatest man is. Step aside or you too shall fall." Lucius fell to his knees in a bow. Shoving him aside, Voldemort lifted his hand. Death Eaters emerged from the Whomping Willow.

"I see." Dumbledore circled. He looked for a weakness, a falter in Voldemort's thoughts.

"Don't try your tricks with me, old man." It was there, a flicker of fear. He threw a curse, and Voldemort barely blocked it.

"I see that you learned nothing from Occlumency." He struck again. Voldemort reflected it back. In the corner of his eye, a death eater fell. The source smiled triumphantly.

"He does not stand alone."

----

"Avada Kedavra." The voices rang at the same time, meeting each other in challenge. A green beam stretched from wand to wand, connecting them.

It was as if the mystery Dumbledore had struggled with for years was suddenly answered. In the far end of the castle, Fawkes breathed a final breath and burst into flame. The core of both wands exploded in a shimmer of gold light. The shield protecting Snape and Hermione fell.

To Harry, the answer was sudden and immediate. _One must die by the hand of the other._ "Accio sword." He drew it forward, facing Voldemort. A death eater threw Voldemort a conjured one, and it began.

"Aren't you going to bow this time?" Harry mocked. Voldemort was eerily weak without his magic. Harry's years of Quidditch took over. He ducked a strike, another bludger. He dodged the oncoming blade, and aimed.

"You fool." The words were gasped in pain. "Whose blood was it that brought me to life? You brought your own death upon you." Voldemort fell, the blade in his chest.

Harry stumbled, exhausted. The hands that caught him were firm.

"It may be your blood that flowed in his veins, but it's your mother's that keep you alive."


	15. Shifting Winds

_Author's Note: Here's fifteen, that angsty age that JK Rowling as left the trio in. Enjoy, and review if you wish. I think sixteen will please everyone. I'm aiming to post it tonight. By the way, the fic is back to PG 13. I think that's the best rating._

He bent over her, watching her sleep. Her breath was so light, hardly there. It didn't matter that Voldemort was gone, that everything was calm again. He wasn't willing to lose her. She was his star amidst the darkness they lived in. If this was the end, he didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. Severus took her hand, and uttered the magic word.

_She was standing on the platform, the wind whipping her hair. He watched her linger behind as the students pushed forward onto the train. Harry called out to her, sensing her hesitation._

_"Come on, Hermione! It's time to go." She shook her head, the wild mane of auburn hair flowing in the wind._

_"Hold on, I forgot something in my trunk."_

_"I bet it's a book." She heard a smirking voice. It sounded exactly like Ron._

_She turned, and smiled knowingly at the tall dark figure in front of her._

_"Hello Severus. I told you we would meet again." Her voice was beautiful, sanding through the rough edge of his stature._

_In his dreams, Severus looked into the familiar face. _

_"Potter's waiting." He reminded her briskly. He hated goodbyes, but he had to see her again._

_"So are you." Her charming smile warmed him. She swayed on her feet a little from side to side apprehensively, her hands pressed in her jacket pocket._

_He sighed, and fiddled with his robes. She'd never seen him do that before, and it fascinated her. She knew what was coming as much as he did._

_"I came to say goodbye." Her smile faded, and she glanced at a pebble by her shoe. Picking it up, she toyed with it._

_"So this is it." Her eyes locked his, and she touched his face lightly. The train whistled in the background. She drew her hand back, and turned. Realizing that they were waiting on her, her face flushed and she ran; a light step he hadn't imagined her to possess. He watched the train as it rolled away in a puff of billowing smoke._

----

Harry awoke in the hospital wing, the sun blazing through the windows.

"Harry!" Ginny shrieked, catapulting at him. Ron grinned. She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't place it.

"You did it Harry! I'm so proud of you! We're saved!"

Three beds away, Snape rested his head in his hands. The sounds of his least favorite students rejoicing made him miserable.

"A knut for your thoughts." The sweet latte eyes smiled up at him. A spark of hope lit his heart.

"My thoughts are worth more than that, Miss Granger." She laughed. That man would never leave his sternness behind.

"He's been worried sick about you. We all have been." Madame Pomphrey appeared to her left. "You're free of the curse, child."

She looked down. Under the white hospital gown, all the bruises were gone. Her ribs no longer showed, and her skin had color again.

"It's over?" How it had happened, she had no idea.

He nodded, and turned away. Totally perplexed, Hermione turned to Madame Pomphrey. The nurse busied herself with clearing off the table by the bed. She retreated, leaving them alone behind the curtain.

Severus wiped his eyes. He would miss her smile in the mornings, her intellectual opinions over their simple meals, her warmth, and her charm. There was no use dwelling on it any longer.

"Sir." She had a worried frown on her face, and his heart ripped at the thought. As cruel as it was, he wished he had let the dementors get him.

"Miss Granger." She took his hand, and didn't want to let go. He bent over her, and Hermione was afraid to breathe. If she did, the world would shatter, and she would wake up from this twisted dream to realize that it was all gone. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and that was it. Before she could react, he was gone. She sobbed behind the curtain while her friends rejoiced on the other side.

----

Severus swept into his rooms that night. For the first time, he felt the icy bite of the dungeon. He placed his wand to his head and withdrew a long strand of silver, then thrust it bitterly into the pensieve.

He attempted to settle back into normal routine. Behind his carefully composed mask, he taught his classes, letting sharpness back in his voice. _Let them bitch about it, _he snarled internally, _they have no idea what suffering feels like._

She sat in her place on the third day after Voldemort's defeat. It unnerved him to see her sitting on the Slytherin side, in the only open space. She tried so hard, in vain, not to look over at her friends. They had no clue who she was, and when he called on her for the first time, she answered without meeting his eyes. Potter and Weasley did not notice.

Somewhere in the back of the classroom, he was sure, she was there. _I know I'm crazy, _he thought,_ but isn't insanity healthier than what I'm living in now?_ His quarters were empty. He found himself spending his time pouring over the pensieve, listening to her laugh fill the hollow rooms, and echo off his heartbeat. Somewhere off in the Gryffindor tower, she awoke in the night.

"Good night." She whispered, and no one answered. She recited potions, waiting for sleep to hit and warm her with memories. It never did.

And life carried on, oblivious to the two suffering souls it possessed. Before they realized it, the snow fell gently, bringing with the cold the season of love. _Think of the irony,_ he thought as he continued down the hall, taking away points feverishly and blowing his nose.

She sighed and glanced into her closet, expecting skeletons. The beautiful dress shone back at her.

_Think of the irony._


	16. Mistletoe

_Author's Note: After careful thought,I present to you the next and final chapter, sweet sixteen. I hope everyone enjoyed this fic, and the final ending it had. Review if you wish, and I thank all my supporters immensely. I hope everyone enjoyed this as much as I loved writing it._

Hermione entered the ball, her hair cascading down her back in gentle curls. The sea foam dress washed against her curves, the color complimenting her complexion. She walked in awkwardly, without a date. Though the rest of the school seemed to know who she was, Harry and Ron didn't consider this strange prefect for a date. It was better that way, without the complications.

Immediately she swept up in the music when another prefect asked her to dance, possibly out of pity. She obliged, knowing she couldn't escape. Duty came first.

"Harry." Ron whispered, staring at Hermione. "Go ask her to dance." Though both vaguely recognized the beautiful girl, neither could place who she was.

Harry blushed, and didn't see the sadness on Ginny's face. She sank into a chair, and watched the rest of the school waltz around the floor.

"Would you like to dance?" Hermione found herself in her former best friend's arms in an awkward waltz. Up at the head table, Severus downed his coffee and headed for the door. Duty was one thing, but his sanity was another. He could not watch Potter dance with her. It was torture.

Over Harry's shoulder, Hermione saw Ginny, watching them.

"I think someone is waiting for you." He turned, astonished to find Ginny. She let him go, and glanced around.

"Leaving so early?" Snape turned, and for the first time, saw her for who she was. Hermione stood in the light green gown, her eyes twinkling at his speechlessness.

"Fancy a dance?" He led her around the hall in a smooth waltz, and noted out of the corner of his eye that Potter and a red head he recognized as the Weasley girl headed out to the terrace. So Potter had found someone after all. Turning back to her, he caught the apprehensive expression on her face.

"Hermione?"

"Look up." She replied, as the music slowed and she stepped closer.

He closed the distance, and finally they were one, as their lips met for the first time.

Up in the bewitched sky mistletoe twinkled.


End file.
